Sordid Blog

Maybe I should have referred to this countdown series as “11 of My Favorite Things about Britain”. Well, today we have #10, and for me, that’s The Graham Norton Show (formerly So Graham Norton and another name I now forget). This is, hands-down, the best weekly interview show, and I love getting BBCAmerica so that I can watch it. Not too long ago, Graham interviewed Matt Lucas (Little Britain) and Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber (countless musicals). Here are the YouTube segments of that episode.  I love Matt Lucas, who’s really all “about being a twat in a dress” …

Part One

Well, here it is: I’m leaving for 3 weeks of teaching in London in 11 days!! The countdown has begun. And to that end, you should very-well expect that the blog will be all about getting me ready for my trip. How does one get ready for London? Well, I assume one watches as much British television as possible, listens to as much British music as possible, and looks at as many pics of hot British men as possible.

For starters, one of my favorite episodes of AbFab. “Door Handle” comes in Series 3; Patsy has “inhaled” the kitchen at the end of Series 2 by falling asleep at the table with a lit fag in her mouth. Now, it’s up to Eddy to rebuild the kitchen and Saffy is just not letting her do it in peace. So hard … At least Eddy knows she’s seen a door handle somewhere that she quite likes … thankfully, for Series 3, the Concord still shuttled between London and New York “so you can go there and back in a day”. Well, thank G-d for an X-Generation Silver Track Suit … and for “repressed false-memory therapy” where we find our mothers “in a wood in a hood” …

Part One

Gwennie JC, aka maman, enjoyed a fairly lovely Mother’s Day and for a present, MaxGuyver got her a brand new pink raincoat. Yes, technically, this is one of the terms of her Gwennie’s recent contract renegotiations, but MaxG and I thought it would be much better to pretend that the garment had been a gift of love and affection rather than an eleventh hour sticking point in a complex set of legal and ethical negotiations.

Other recent pics of Maman can be found in her Picasa photo album. Also, I was told this morning to make sure everyone knows “More love for the bulldog, please!” She thinks sometimes that people forget. Can you imagine such a lapse in people’s judgment or character? I know I cannot …

This has to be the WORST Mother’s Day-type “mama song” that I’ve ever heard … Red Sovine’s “Roses for Mama” …

There’s a dad sitting two tables down from me at Panera with his little girl, Abigail, in her high chair, and I swear to you, with God as my witness, he just looked at her, picked up her piece of bagel that she dropped on the floor, gave it back to her, and said, “Five-second rule!”

He also just called her a “little turd” in a jovial, joking way …

UPDATE: Snow White just walked in with her mom to meet the “mommies” … all mom says is, “I couldn’t get the dress off … decided not to fight that battle this morning!” Snow White seems unfazed by the discussion …

I have a sneaking suspicion that my upper back and biceps will be very sore tomorrow. I spent yesterday sailing with my friend Don in a regatta in Little Washington, NC, as the wind was fickle and decided somewhat frequently to shift directions, and as I was the only crew member, I found myself pulling sheets every time we changed our tack … and then holding on as we made each mark.  Not particularly windy — didn’t even need to use a wench at any time to help wind the sheets — but doing it alone was a lot of work!

We did not come in first, as is the custom when I sail with Don, but we weren’t last either.  We sailed the short course and after coming around the first marker, we found ourselves with virtually no wind anywhere.  Five sailboats basically sitting in the water, creeping along toward the second marker.  It was not pretty, and a storm threatened to the south that had me convinced that we’d be soaked before we made it back to the slip.  After a tragic rounding of the second mark, we were feeling pretty good about our chances of winning, even though technically we were the fourth ship out.  Misty had yet to make the second mark, and Rejoice was not that far ahead of us.  And while we were making barely .7 knots for almost an hour, we could see wind coming.  And then Misty caught a tail wind and Rejoice caught wind and we were sitting there between two puffs with no wind of our own.  By the time the wind hitting Misty’s sails hit ours, we had little hope of staying ahead of her.

But we did enjoy these last puffs and we ended up making between 5 & 6 knots for some of the trip.  Don had pulled in the main when we had no wind and we made the second half the course with just the jib.  Not too bad, IMHO.

It was the last race of the spring, so maybe come September, we’ll have some better winds.

Seriously, in what world does it make sense to a dog to LICK an electrical outlet?  Seriously? Seriously!  Just sitting there, licking the electrical outlet … Max is just suchga frickin’ doofus sometimes …

I’m glad someone has finally bothered to ask the question that’s been pertinently obvious to so many of us gays around the country:  Frank Rich with NYT ponders why all the media flack about a black preacher connected to Obama and nothing about the white evangelical preacher connected to McCain?

Since then, Mr. McCain has been shocked to learn that his clerical ally has made many other outrageous statements. Mr. Hagee, it’s true, did not blame the American government for concocting AIDS. But he did say that God created Hurricane Katrina to punish New Orleans for its sins, particularly a scheduled “homosexual parade there on the Monday that Katrina came.”

My guess?  Well, the black guy’s being all “unAmerican” and it’s really pretty darned “American” to hate the gays and to be really suspicious of the Catholic church.  Oh, wait, yes, there were some white preachers talking some pretty “unAmerican” cant before Rev. Wright:

Perhaps that’s why virtually no one has rebroadcast the highly relevant prototype for Mr. Wright’s fiery claim that 9/11 was America’s chickens “coming home to roost.” That would be the Sept. 13, 2001, televised exchange between Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, who blamed the attacks on America’s abortionists, feminists, gays and A.C.L.U. lawyers. (Mr. Wright blamed the attacks on America’s foreign policy.) Had that video re-emerged in the frenzied cable-news rotation, Mr. McCain might have been asked to explain why he no longer calls these preachers “agents of intolerance” and chose to cozy up to Mr. Falwell by speaking at his Liberty University in 2006.

Not a flutter about Hagee; weeks on Wright … Nope, no race problem in this country, that’s for sure … Decision 2008 Ass-Chapping 2008 Commence!

Hilary is now speaking in G’vegas at Pitt Community College.  I’d thought of going, but Max threw-up again last night @ 3:45 a.m., so I had trouble getting up … I don’t do well when my sleep is interrupted!

Meredith Troll interviewed Hilary for a hot minute this morning on “The Today Show” and it was sorta weird to see the graphic at the bottom read “Greenville, NC” … And there was ol’ Andrea Mitchell, Hilary’s BFF, reporting … you remember Andrea? She was the “Little People, Big World” reporter that was with Hilary in Africa years ago when there may or may not have been what might be considered “sniper fire” … Andrea claims there wasn’t, so there you go.

I can’t believe Hilary was so close this morning and I didn’t drag my sad ass out of bed to go see her.

I love that the new ALA poster featuring Tim Gunn would have him with a copy of Thomas Mann’s The Magic Mountain … leaving aside that both Gunn and Mann need two n’s to spell their names, there are obvious other similarities … and besides, I bet ol’ Tim’s ridden the magic mountain once or twice in his life. But he looks simply fierce in the poster … I’m sure Lil’ Bucky would like it for her b’day …

There’s also one featuring Abigail Breslin and another with Kelly Rippa, which make me want to vomit, and one with Orlando Bloom and one with Ewan McGregor that make me think dirty thoughts. I’ll admit that I enjoy the one with Caesar Milan and Daddy, his pit bull that helps him “rehabilitate dogs” on his show.

Of course, the one with Magaret Cho is fabulous as only Miss Cho can be. I think Brandy would enjoy the Danica Patrick …

And there’s also a Pigeon Mobile that belongs in my office but which, for some strange reason, is not … I wonder how we could fix that? Hmmm …