Things I Learned in East Lansing #2
Here’s the second thing I’ve learned/remembered in East Lansing: I miss having gay friends. Facebook is wonderful for what it is, and I adore my friends and colleagues to pieces, but I sooo miss having gay friends to hang out with, to chat with, to camp with, to laugh and have fun with.
When I was in graduate school, I once told a female friend that I missed hugs, to which she replied, “I hug you all the time; are my hugs not good enough?” and I tried to explain that what I really meant were hugs by male friends, which are always always different from hugs from female friends. Those lady hugs are lovely, don’t get me wrong, and I enjoy them, but they’re different. I’m not sure how to explain it beyond saying that they’re different and that I need both.
Having gay friends is a bit like that. From the moment I landed in Detroit, there has been a non-stop party (even while working) with Matt and Trav; there’s an easy being when I’m with them. We joke and make looks; we say things that we probably wouldn’t say in other contexts; we know that our immediate audience is going to “get it” … and that is enjoyable. I don’t have that in Greenville. I also, to be fair, probably haven’t sought it out, but that’s a different story / issue for a different time.
This morning, I was sitting at the table working and Matt woke up in the living room, rolled over, and quoted AbFab, which started a full 30 minutes of AbFab between the two of us. Then, we had to get online. Now, we’re determined to spend a few hours this weekend watching Eddie and Patsy. There was an entire conversation in the room this morning that was effortless and one completely in quotations and allusions.
That’s probably my favorite monologue from AbFab, from the episode “Poor”. I once showed it in class, the whole episode, and the students looked at me as though I’d lost my mind: “There is nothing funny about that show,” they let me know. Whatevs … I think they meant to say that there is nothing not funny about that show.
Regardless, it has been joyous to be with my gays this week and to enjoy that easy camaraderie that comes with that space. Makes me want to return often …
