Sordid Blog

or, what happens when you’re nellie as pink ink!

As I noted in an earlier post, Dan and I went to see Leslie Jordan last night at the 14th Street Playhouse in Atlanta. We walked from the hotel, and once the sun had gone down, it was a lovely evening’s perambulation down Juniper to 14th St. Now, for those who don’t know Leslie Jordan, I’ll say that I first encountered him as Beverly Leslie on “Will & Grace”. Oh, Beverly Leslie — Karen Walker’s best friend and closest confidant! But more about that later!

We saw the marquee, the homosexuals milling about outside — and we knew we were in the right place. Now, I’d never been to “Stage 2″ in the playhouse, so I was a little nervous about being instructed to “go downstairs” . . . I mean, this is some obviously gay event and we’re being sent to the basement? Well, no problem there; apparently, Jordan was just performing in the “black box,” which I enjoy because I love intimate theatre. The space couldn’t have held more than about 60 people, and even though we didn’t have “preferred” seating, we still had third row seats on the side. At one point in the show, LJ walked right by Dan . . . could have reached out and touched him!

I was excited about the show, especially since the stage was decorated with the black dress avec red piping, red full-length gloves, wig, and red pumps from the final scene of Sordid Lives. The show “started” with a fab Tammy Wynette soundtrack before the show, and then LJ came out. He started by hiding behind one of the screens and slowly removed the outfit hanging over it; then he came out half-dressed and talked about he wasn’t a drag queen, y’all, and he just couldn’t do it . . . but it was exactly what his devotees had come to see, so he had to give a little taste.

Well, from there, the show(wmv) was just a laugh riot. I almost hurt myself laughing. I did get a little nervous when two old hetero couples sat beside and behind us, but mostly, it was just fine because they chuckled and guffawed — and literally, I thought this one woman’s tit was going to fly clean across the room (a little tight on the plastic surgery, dear).

Stand out moments for me (wmv): 1) he was talking about a friend he met when he lived in Atlanta and how his friend was from some hole-in-the-wall in Mississippi, to quote, “about 7 miles from where Jesus lost his sandals!” Hilarious! 2) later, he was talking about his move to Miami beach to “find himself” (which was never lost, as he noted in the show he’d been a sibilant-s-slinging sissie since God was a boy) and come out, and he talked about dancing on boxes and he started to dance and “vogue” and as we laughed, he said, “Oh, shit, I was Voguing while Madonna was still shittin’ yellow in her diapers!” 3) when he talked about his sissiness and noted that he was “as nellie as pink ink.”

Oh, and then there was that moment when he emerged from behind one of the screens with a small party cocktail and said, quite simply, “Well, well, well . . .” The audience erupted — well, the gay men erupted in laughter. Then came the finish: “Well, well, well . . . Karen Walker. I thought I smelled gin . . . and regret.” I love that line, and we all just laughed and hollared (to use a night southern word). Oh, and readers who don’t know what that whole scene was about, well, sweeties, you’ve got to get out more!

But the best episode was surely his telling about his planning to be a jockey (he’s only 4′ 8″ or something like that) and how he’d moved to Cartersville, GA, to train. Apparently, he stayed with this one woman and her crazy sister — to be honest, they both sound crazy, and the black woman, Narcissus, that worked for the chief crazy sounds as though she might have been a bit off her rocker, too. To make a short story long, this is where LJ learned the joys of drinking . . . during the day! Now, in Georgia, we’ve known this forever, but apparently, Tennessee imports have to learn this later. I thought I’d die laughing when he pointed out that he and the super crazy woman were drinking and she pointed out to him (after Narcissus had told the crazy sister to hide the key to the liquor closet — not cabinet, closet!), “Honey, black women, like a mother-in-law, will turn on you!” Now, that does not match my experiece, but I can certainly hear some 80 year old white woman from Cartersville, GA, saying it . . . His time in Cartersville also involved some strange episode with swinging cats around in shopping bags; I didn’t fully follow this part, but it sounds fun . . .

All in all, it was one fabulous evening, a perfect kick-off for PRIDE 2005. I sometimes have to feel sorry for those folks who are unhappy with themselves, who aren’t proud to be who they are, who don’t think they can be there for themselves. LJ talks a lot about how hard it was for him to know he was a disappointment to his father for so many years, but he also talks in his show about how he came to deal with that, how he came to love himself. That’s the message of PRIDE, I think, and so here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson!

Dan, fill in any holes I’ve left . . .